With the news that Manchester City owner Sheik Mansour bin Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan of Abu Dhabi and the New York Yankees will start a new MLS Club called New York City FC, we’ve compiled a list of the eight proposed team names and locations that didn’t quite make the cut.
8) Sporting A.I.D.S.
Owners: Publicly owned
Where: Of all places, Kissimee, FL
Why it wasn’t picked: The acronym for “Athletic International Deportes Squad” was catchy, in the really bad way
7) X-Men United
Owners: John Favreau, Sir Neil Patrick Stewart
Where: Secret Bucolic Military Academy
Why it wasn’t picked: Sentinels countinually interrupted play, destroyed stadium
6) Tyler Perry’s The Browns FC
Owners: Tyler Perry, God
Where: North Carolina-ish
Why it wasn’t picked: It was, and it’s incredibly popular, you just haven’t seen it
5) The Tampa Bay Fuckineers
Owners: Warren Sapp, Bobcat Goldwaith
Where: St. Petersburg, FL
Why it wasn’t picked: All ready the name of sixteen indie bands
4) The Guys Who Weren’t Good Enough At Other, Legitimate Men’s Sports, So They Went With Soccer Because They Vacationed In Europe Growing Up And Are Named Tyler Or Something-United
Owners: “Landon” Donovan, “Alexi” Lalas
Where: Lilith Fair Festival
Why it wasn’t picked: Too busy writing in it’s diary about today’s practice
3) MILF Dakota
Owners: The 8th grade at Shady Springs Middle School, Artist formerly known as “Richard”
Where: Angelica Houston, TX
Why it wasn’t picked: Kept getting gross stares from the Columbus Crew
2) The Winnipeg Miscarriage No One Mentions
Owners: Erin annnnnd her sister, can you belive it?!?!
Where: Prom
Why it wasn’t picked: Not ready yet
DYK? Gwyenth showed her weird tits at the Oscars once!
1) Zenith Paltrow
Owner: Nature
Where: Nature
Why it wasn’t picked: Wicker
Filed under: articles, comedy Tagged: articles, Comedy, Landon Donovan, Major League Soccer, Manchester City FC, New York City, new york yankees, Tyler Perry
